6 Ways to Fight Against Poisonous Polarization
With a system that encourages toxic conflict, how can we work toward an Omni-Win future?
Earlier this week, I spoke about the importance of deliberative dialogue and asking the right questions. Conflict is a natural part of life, and our reactions can make it more fruitful or more challenging.
The media often highlights conflict at the extremes, making us think that we’re more divided than we are. With deliberative dialogue, we can actually see how similarly we view the world and come to conclusions that benefit everyone.
But it doesn’t end there. We need to look inward. Most, if not all of us, have individual work to do to become better at conflict and accepting differing opinions. Only when we face our shadow side can we begin to counter polarization.
It’s so easy to stick to our echo chambers, fall into confirmation bias, and demonize the other side. It’s no surprise that we’ve fallen into the polarization trap when our system has reaped the benefits of dividing us.
Six strategies to overcome polarization
There’s a book called “The Way Out: How to Overcome Toxic Polarization” by Peter Coleman. Ryan Nakade wrote a great article about it where he distills chapter seven down into six salient points. These six elements are things we can all do in our lives to start undermining polarization. We can’t move forward while we’re so heavily divided.
So, here are six techniques you can use to cut your way through polarization.
1. Acknowledge your contradictions
Admitting you’re wrong is hard, and admitting your beliefs are contradictory is even harder. Understanding your contradictions is crucial as it opens your eyes to the other side. Perhaps you want to discuss them with friends or journal about this–you can even burn the paper after! Whatever you choose, it’s time to dive into your beliefs and ask yourself some questions:
What is the stuff that I don't really know?
What are the things that don't quite ring true for me?
How might I be wrong?
2. “Think with the best of them”
Engage with the people who think differently from you and ask them questions. Peter Coleman calls upon us to “think with the best of them.” There will always be people willing to talk you through their perspectives. This is a great way to look past the headlines and find out how the opposite side actually thinks. Escape the media agenda and interact with real people.
3. Complicate the problem
While this sounds counterintuitive, it’s a great way to move away from binary thinking. Our issues are not simple this-or-that situations; they’re complex and interrelated.
All the critical issues that we're trying to deal with in our world are complex. Whether we’re thinking about gun control or immigration, there are many moving parts. They aren’t simply black or white issues and neither are the solutions.
4. Complicate the conversation
When we get into a debate and try to defend our position or win, we exacerbate the situation. Arguing over the issues we're dealing with will never work.
You can't convince anyone of anything in a single conversation. It seems like we should just be able to give people the right information, and they would agree with us, but they don't. Yes, this is really frustrating.
So, complicating the conversation is about engaging in dialogue. You go into a conversation with the possibility that they might have as much to offer as you. As Steve McIntosh says, most people have good sense and good faith, and there’s a real reason they think the way they do. Ask them questions, try to understand, and use reflective listening.
5. Complicate the narrative
Here’s a little hat tip to Amanda Ripley, who I mentioned in my last article. If you're not making the news as a journalist, pay attention to different news sources. Daniel Schmachtenburger recommends following the news on the opposite side to you: If you're on the left, read Breitbart or Fox News for a week or two. If you're on the right, read Mother Jones or MSNBC.
I promise you, you'll be okay. You might grow a little bit, but it's not going to hurt you to expose yourself to the other perspective. Broaden your horizons and try to figure out why they think the way they do.
If that feels too hardcore for you, there are some great resources for getting different signs of the media. One is Flip Side. Another one is AllSides. The Consilience Project is doing some really deep, nonpartisan, high-level news analysis. It's a little slower, so you're not going to get yesterday's news in that feed, but it’s a great way to understand what’s going on.
6. Complicate your community
Complicating your community is similar to thinking with the best of them and talking to someone else. But what would it be like for you to make friends with them?
What would it be like to join a church or gun club? A progressive social change group or even a cooking group? Find a place where you can regularly engage with people who have different political perspectives than you. Humanizing the other side and humanizing yourself in their eyes is precisely how we change things.
That's the kind of change that's going to help us overcome our polarization and help us start co-creating the future for all of us.
Let’s close with some words from Daniel Schmachtenberger from The Consilience Project:
“New institutions cannot arise out of a vacuum. They will have to emerge from a new cultural movement that values the health of our epistemic commons, high-quality reasoning, open dialogue, and an open society with the end of creating a more perfect democratic union.”
It will require profound, far-reaching cultural and institutional change for us to start co-creating the future of democracy for an Omni-Win future. I don't know if we're going to succeed. But I'm willing to try because it's up to us. No one else is going to do this. We are the people.
That’s one of my favorite lessons from In This Together. Those politicians, businesses, and media are all dependent on us. They depend on us for votes, money, and attention. We get to choose where we put our attention. That is democracy. That's how we're going to co-create the future of democracy.
Now, this is some big stuff, and I'm going to take it to the next level. My next essay is going to be about how we transcend polarization. And I'm going to introduce two awesome concepts that you don’t want to miss.
If you want to stay tuned, subscribe! There will be an Omni-Win Project podcast coming in the summer for you to watch out for, too. Thank you for your interest, passion, and support for co-creating the future of democracy.
If you prefer to watch your content, here’s a video on the topic of this essay:
You can find more information about the work I do in conflict transformation on my website: http://www.omni-win.com
You can schedule a call with me here: https://calendly.com/duncanautrey
Don’t forget to check out the rest of my posts as I discuss how we can work together to ensure we all win.
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